Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.
( firstname.lastname@example.org ).
Thankfully, the Lord has kept me busy doing good things, so a good reason not to have time to post more often. Although, I am not always as pressed in as I should be with time management, therefore I could possibly get more posts out.
We recently were helping a family in Romania. The wife has a zeal that is inspirational. She is in her 50's but runs to & fro serving others like a lively 20 year old. She was teaching me some Romanian and one word she taught me that well defines her is "Haideti" sounds like "Hi-dets" it means, "Let's go!, Let's do it!"
You can see her lesson for me in the above picture. It says, "Let's build a house." We were there to help her build a larger home that the Romanian government required of her because she has been adopting orphans with heart conditions.
The topic that is on my heart today is obedience whether it be to an earthly husband, God himself, mother or father (if they are overseeing you). Sadly these younger generations are being taught complete independence: you are your own boss, you don't need nobody, ain't nobody gonna tell me what to do, it's all about ME, I'll do whatever I want, whenever I want, etc...
When I was a young lost teen unfortunately I had a "boyfriend".
I remeber one day telling him, "You aren't my father!" as if that really meant anything, seeing how I didn't even want to obey my dad either. So, now that I am in my 40's it has been a struggle for me in my marriage to respect my husband as I should. He is worthy of the respect, but sadly I was raised amidst a rebellious generation. And as the generations continue they have only gotten worse. I remeber how the things I used to do & say shocked my parents. Now I am feeling shocked even moreso by what I have seen coming out of younger generations. I remember when the term "lame" became popular slang, it was no big deal among teens to say, "Man, your so lame!" Well, one day I said it to my mom, "Mom, your so lame!" My dad could not believe his ears, I was reproved by them both. But, I couldn't relate to why it was such a big deal. Today it is much worse, and very few children have a good example to compare and see how wicked their actions are.
We can not blame our parents and the circumstances we were raised in for our rebellion. There are examples of people who suffered so much, yet love much, have much grace and wisdom. Truly their help came from the Lord. We all need to do our part to draw near to God and be cleansed from the world that took root in our hearts before we came to the Lord. God is able to give us new hearts & cleanse us from our wrong ways. Sometimes it takes falling and standing to brush off the dirt, and faith to keep trying to walk forward, just like children learning to walk. We can't stop getting up and trying; if children did that they'd never learn to walk properly. So, I have failed time & time again when it comes to speaking properly to my husband & to others....so please know I press onto perfection, but I have not arrived. But we must STRIVE to enter in....we don't see God's commands as mountains that are too hard to climb, we take courage knowing if we have a faith the size of a tiny mustard seed we can MOVE MOUNTAINS.
So, recently my husband made a Facebook post emphasizing the need for women to OBEY, he wrote it in all caps and he left Titus 2:5 as the reference. I was amazed by the many responses that were emotional and negative. So many woman took his word of encouragement as a beating. Like he was some wicked woman abuser. Some even wanted to say the Word does not say "obey" but rather submit and they built up some wordy idea that there is a difference between submitting and obedience, as if obedience was a negative abusive word. Seems so many women have had negative experiences with men that they assume the command for obedience to man is wrong. What does the Word say?
Titus 2:5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
See the word "obedient"? I don't think we need to learn Greek or anything to rightly divide this. This verse is simple instructions for married women. It should not offend us...but sadly we too often comprehend and interpret things through our own life experiences & emotions. If you read these words plainly there is no reason to think, oppression or abuse, or manipulation or any other negative idea that so often weighs the minds of women who hear these instructions. There are also instructions given to the husband; they are to love their wives respect their bodies as they would their own, honor their wives, etc. Notice the reason for these instructions to women:
"...that the word of God be not blasphemed."
When the unbelievers see believers acting just as proud, irritably, belittling, disrespectful to their husbands as they do, this is shame to the name of the Lord who willinging obeyed the Father and layed His life down to deliver us from such sinful acts. There is no inspiration or motivation to believe like you, because they do not see the power of grace in your life. This is why we must recieve instruction and have the faith and humility to apply it to our lives that our Savior will be magnified and all men will be drawn unto Him seeing the power of His grace in our lives.
So, yes, these instructions are much easier to recieve for women who have husbands that are also in obedience to God. Nevertheless, a wife must do her best by God's amazing grace to honor and respect the husband even if he does not honor and respect her. Now a controversial topic: if one has an unbelieving husband , or a husband that requires a wife to commit sin..... The Word says we are to obey God over man. God is always first. What we need to learn is what would God have us do. Just beacuse He is first doesn't mean we ignore our husband's requests of us because we want to spend our days sitting at the Lord's feet instead of doing things the husband has asked us to do. God first can mean we yield to our husband's request to get the laundry done, the children's room cleaned, the garage cleaned, etc. even though we'd rather be sitting at the Lord's feet all day instead. This is because obedience to the husband glorifies God. The husband is strengthened by the wife's faithfulness, and if he is not strengthened or thankful, God is still glorified and the wife is blamless amidst a wicked and perverse generation. Now, this is not to say we should never take a day to spend being still before the Lord instead of being busy with the cares of this life, but we need to be discerning of what would best glorify God at the given time. Sometimes we need to muster up faith and trust if we do the duties the husband has instructed us, or expected us to do, that God will minister to our needs as we lay down our life to serve others. We shouldn't excuse ourselves from reasonable services because we want to be so "spiritual". Oftentimes the spiritual thing to do is serve others, work hard, deny ourself. The Word says, it is more blessed to give than recieve.....have you ever ministered to someones need and found that God ministered to your need while you ministered to someone elses? I hope dear ladies that you will learn to rightly divide these things and forget about all this "woman power" the world is preaching that teaches women to be their own boss and belittle & disrespect their husbands. A woman of true strength knows how to cleave to the Lord, trust in Him, obey Him & glorify Him even when she must suffer in the flesh doing so. The Word speaks of a divine nature that we are to have....it is a nature that seeks the Glory of God above it's own comforts. A nature that can endure gracefully much hardship. A woman of true strength can endure by God's grace the reproach of her own family when she stands alone for the right ways of God. God does not contradict Himself; people simply do not rightly divide His word, thus there appears to be contradictions. When God commands women to be in obedience to their husband's it is not unto sin, but as unto the LORD. Let me give some examples:
If a husband says, "Wife your clothes are dull, put on those tight jeans and that tank top." Here the husband is commanding the wife to do something sinful, to wear clothes that appeal to the lust of the flesh and likely create a stumbling block for other men to commit adultery with their eyes. Would the Lord command such a thing? No, He would not. And this is where the wife must obey God over man. But not pridefully, or arrogantly, on the contrary with that divine nature God can give a woman in this situation who earnestly seeks Him. She can simply say, "Dear husband, I am happy to obey you in all good things, but this thing you have asked of me is sin & therefore I cannot consent." Remember the couple in the book of Acts that fell dead? The wife would not have fallen dead with her husband if she had not yielded to his sinful plan to decieve the brethren. We all stand alone before God on the judgment day. We can not point a finger at others and say, "He made me do it!" God does not expect us to yield to sin.
Many try to use the example of Sarah obeying Abraham to say she was his sister when it put her in jeopardy of being taken by another man to say "we must obey the husband even unto sin."
I highly disagree, seeing how it contradicts God's word and the example we see under the New Covenant teachings which we are to live by. Jacob obeyed his mother to decieve his father and what happened to Jacob? He was decieved by his father in law and suffered much. We will pay a consequence for knowingly doing wrong. Ladies, you are not obligated to obey your husband unto sin.
I would also like to caution not to take your "obedience to God" out of context and justify your will by telling your Husband "God does not want us to eat white rice, therefore I will not make it..." or I do not believe it is God's will for us to live in Arizona, etc. These are things that could be called into question; but issues of morality are more clearly defined and therefore we know God does not want us to do them, such as lie, watch movies with wicked contents, swear, dress immodestly, help take your children to a school that will teach them anti-christ practices,etc.
Let's look at another part of Titus 2:5, it says, ...."good"....married women are being exhorted to be GOOD. How does that make you feel? Does it bother you like the word "obedient"? Think about it this way.....we want children to be good, and sometimes we tell them, "be a good boy." What do we mean when we say that? Do we mean DISOBEY me or do we mean OBEY me. Do we consider the child good when they obey or disobey? Do the children give us peace and joy when they disobey?
3 John 1:4 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.
God has created an order that we would all do well and be pleasing to God and all mankind (even ourselves) if we simply obey that order. Everyone is required to obey: the men must obey Christ, the women must obey their husband and Christ, the children must obey their parents and Christ. And when we all willing do this there is peace and harmony.
Ok, so the husband doesn't obey, this makes life harder on the wife. And when the wife dosen't obey, this makes life harder on the man who has been placed with the responsibility of overseeing his wife and children. Ladies who have been abused by men & husband's you will not heal from this by rebelling against God's order or by seeing obedience to the husband as oppressive. Remember, it is as unto the Lord we are called to serve our husband. We must love the husband regardless if he loves us. If he is an enemy to the faith, God calls all people to love even their enenemies. But this does not mean we yield to sin. Sin is not love. It may cost some women their marriage to live in obedience to Christ if they have an unbeling husband. In such cases the woman should obey all her husband requiers that is not immoral/ sinful and she should labor to respect him even if he is not walking worthy. Christ layed down His life and died for us when we were yet sinners and this is what won our hearts to Him; His amazing sacrificial love. This is what has the chance of winning the unbelieving husband to Christ, loving him selflessly. Marriage is a sacrificial love, Christian love is a sacrificial love & true love. Without God, love does not exist, "God is love".
Eternity without God is eternity without love, indescribably painful. And this is where all will end up who despise God and His ways. The husband that despises God and abuses his wife will have an eternity without love; wives you have the opportunity to save your husband from such an end, and to enable him to experience the only love he will ever experience if he does not repent. Your life on the altar for God glorifies God as did the life of Christ.
So to this call to obedience I say, "Hi-dets!" = "Let's do it!" for this is wisdom to obey God and His high calling, and this is how a woman can build her house on a sure foundation; but she that lives in self-will & rebellion will tear her house down with her own hands.